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- How to Instantly Be More Charismatic
How to Instantly Be More Charismatic
Become a top 5% communicator with ONE trick
Howie Chan
July 21, 2024
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Welcome to Legend Letters - A rebellion against the ordinary, where you redefine success and live your version of legendary.
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HEARTSET
“Hello, nice to meet you, how are you?”
“Good. And you?”
“Good.”
How many times have we done this throughout our day when meeting new people or at a get-together with your friends? B.O.R.I.N.G.
Just saying the standard few words is just checking the box and going through the motions.
The opportunity to be more charismatic is yours to take, but we often shut it down automatically. (I do this too!)
And what if you’re at an event where you’re meeting someone you want to impress?
“Hi, I’m so excited to meet you!”
“Likewise. So what do you do?”
“I’m in marketing.”
“Ok…”
Left quite an impression didn’t you?
Eh, NOPE.
Don’t miss your chance to charm. Because if you know anything about this crazy world, you know that it’s all about people.
“Treat every person as a gift. You just don’t know what it is yet”
So what if we used these moments, these seemingly mundane questions and made them legendary? What if we said something a little unexpected?
A little out of the box? Now that would be charming.
MINDSET
When given a box, don’t just check it. Take it as an opportunity to do something different!
SKILLSET
Three levels to turn up your charm:
LEVEL 1: GIVE THEM VELCRO
When meeting someone, questions like these are usually asked:
What do you do?
Where do you live?
Instead of giving them one word answers, give them a menu of different things, a velcro for them to hook on to.
“Where do you live?”
“I grew up in Singapore, but moved to the U.S.A for college and worked there for more than a decade, before being antsy and went to Europe for a few years before my stint in San Francisco and now raising my kids in Minnesota where my wife grew up.”
You see how this is so much more interesting than “I live in Minnesota”? Not only that, it gives them so many different options to connect with you!
Watch a 57 second short where Charisma On Command founder Charlie Houpert explains this concept.
LEVEL 2: DIAL UP YOUR WIT
In a research study at the University of Queensland involving 415 participants, their friends were asked about how charismatic they were and then they were put through tests to see how fast they were able to answer general knowledge questions and identify some different dot patterns.
They found that their ability to be quick on their feet correlated strongly with charisma. More strongly than IQ.
So if you want to turn up the charisma, dial up your quick-wittedness! Or at least the perception that you’re witty.
A great example of this is to have some associations on hand:
The next time someone asks you what your favorite type of dog is. How about: “I’m a real big fan of the underdog”.
Or if a friend starts speaking in an excitable high-pitched tone, you might remark: “I’m pretty sure only dolphins could hear that”.
(examples from “28 tips to become more quick witted”)
LEVEL 3: MAKE THEM LAUGH
Howie, what about if I’m meeting new colleagues? Do jokes have a place at my work?
Turns out… it does.
Research shows that leaders with any sense of humor are seen as more motivating and admired - 27% more than those who don’t joke around! Furthermore, their employees are 15% more engaged and their teams are more than 2x likely to solve a creative challenge.
WOW.
So inject some humor in your conversations. The best and safest way? Self-deprecating humor.
“So where do you work?”
“I’m self-employed - I tell my wife I’m an entrepreneur and my rich friends that I’m jobless.”
These methods are going to feel weird. And they should, because they are not “normal”. So instead of being overwhelmed, just do level 1 first. The next time you have a conversation with ANYONE, give them a velcro answer, not the check-the-box answer.
“Discomfort is the currency to your dreams.”
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT
In the last issue of Legend Letters, I talked about BE DO HAVE - and one of my goals is to be one of the top Podcasters out there, dedicating my craft to uncovering how people around the world are living their version of legendary, bringing their lessons to YOU.
So I’m adopting BE DO HAVE.
BE a top podcaster: I’ve fully embraced what it feels like, what challenges I will take on, and the discipline to be one.
DO what a top podcaster does: I’ve taken courses, studied the best (put together ~600 questions from the interviewers I love), and relentlessly inviting great guests.
By embodying it and taking actions to become it, I’m on my way to having whatever it brings me… and you.
COMING SOON: SEPTEMBER 2024
The LEGEND LETTERS Podcast
The rebellion against the ordinary. This is where the the traditional ideas of success perish and legends are born. Lessons from the extraordinary people among us to help us make our mark and live our legend.
I can’t wait for you to listen.
In the meantime, go charm someone.
Live your legend 🤘🏽,
Howie Chan
Creator of Legend Letters
Sources:
Houpert, Charlie, How to Be More Socially Attractive, Modern Wisdom Podcast - LINK
Gaskell, Adi, Why You Should Be Quick-Witted (If You Want to Appear More Charismatic), Forbes, December 2, 2015 - LINK
Brown, Lachlan, 28 Tips to Become More Quick-Witted (If You’re Not a Quick Thinker), Hack Spirit Blog, July 11, 2024 - LINK
Aaker, Jennifer et al., How to Be Funny at Work, Harvard Business Review, February 5, 2021 - LINK
Two Ways I can Help You:
1/ Power Hour
Book a 1:1 call with me and we can talk about your personal brand strategy and LinkedIn growth (I grew from 7K to 80K followers in 7 months).
2/ Personal Brand Strategy Program
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