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Dear {{ first name | Legend}},
what’s slowing down your success is the speed you’re trying to move at.
Read that again.
I know what you’re thinking. “WHAT?!” “Are you smoking something Howie?”
I know. It sounds backward.
Almost absurd.
Let me explain…because once this clicks, it’s one of those ideas that will permanently change the way you operate: in your business, in your company, in your relationships, everywhere.
Heartset: Rushing gives you the illusion you’re moving forward, but you’re actually standing still, or worse moving backwards.
If you ever feel rushed, pressured, behind, or like you’re constantly trying to catch up, there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re human.
Humans are wired for shortcuts.
We’re biologically primed to choose whatever saves energy. Our nervous systems love the quickest route from A to B, because that meant survival. The “easy way” isn’t a character flaw, it’s our programming. So no, it’s not your fault.
Plus, everything around us: companies, technologies, are leveraging this bias for their benefit.
Messages are instant.
Videos are instant.
Shopping is instant.
And now, AI has turned formerly difficult tasks into something we can do while standing in line at the grocery store.
The problem is, when we’re wired to choose speed, and everything around us is about doing things faster, we can’t help but rush.
But some things still takes time.
Especially this one crucial thing that every relationship, every sale is based on…
Trust.
A few weeks ago, I sat down with Jay Clouse, founder of Creator Science and he said something that stuck with me:
“Trust is the currency that precedes the transaction.”
(Jay has coached thousands of creators and founders through the messy middle of building something real for nearly a decade. He runs one of the most respected newsletters in the creator space and has interviewed some of the best creators in the industry, like Chris Williamson of Modern Wisdom and Collin and Samir of My First Million. When Jay talks about trust, he’s not theorizing, he’s lived it.)
Drops are slow, but we want fast.
The Science
A) Why We’re Wired For Speed and Ease
We’re drawn to speed because the brain is designed to conserve energy. Psychologists Susan Fiske and Shelley Taylor call this the “cognitive miser” tendency. Our brains prefer the fastest, least effortful path to a decision because it feels safe and efficient.
Technology only reinforces this wiring, giving us constant dopamine hits for anything instant. So wanting speed isn’t a flaw, it’s biology.
B) Why Our Brains Need Trust to Take Time
Trust develops slowly because the brain treats it like a risk calculation, not a convenience. The amygdala and prefrontal cortex work together to evaluate safety based on repeated, consistent patterns of behavior. Research shows trust requires time, repeated exposure, and consistent positive signals and the brain won’t compress this process because its job is to protect you from being wrong.
“The Neurobiology of Trust” by Paul J. Zak (2008)
So do you see our dilemma?
We’re wired to want speed, but building trust takes time.
How do we reconcile this? 👇🏽
Mindset: Don’t Think “Speed”, Think “Size”
Here’s the shift I walked away with after talking to Jay:
Stop looking at your efforts through the lens of speed.
Start optimizing for the size of trust you earn (regardless of speed.)
Because shortcuts doesn’t actually create momentum and success.
Trust does.
“Attention is what fuels the engine, but it’s trust that becomes conversion and ultimately impacts the bottom line.”
And trust comes from behaviors that are inherently slow:
craft
alignment
consistency
steady effort
consideration
follow-through
When you operate from this mindset, you stop asking “what’s the fastest way to get there?”, instead you ask “what’s the biggest level of trust I can create?”
This is where Jay’s Four Traits of Trust comes in.
It’s a framework that aligns with every major trust framework across psychology, behavioral science, organizational leadership, negotiation, therapy, and even evolutionary biology.
Ready to intentionally create trust? 👇🏽
“Three out of every four people believe they are more trustworthy than average… and only one third of people agree with the statement ‘most people can be trusted.’”
Skillset: The Four Traits of Trust
Competency = Can you do the thing?
Reliability = Will you do it consistently?
Empathy = Do you care about my needs, not just yours?
Integrity = Do your words and actions align?
Let’s break each one down and then I’ll share some practical ways for you to apply it.
1. Competency “I believe you can do the thing”
People need to see evidence of your capability. Competency creates predictability, and predictability lowers perceived risk.
How to build it:
Show your reasoning (research: “transparency effect”)
Share the “why,” not just the “what”
Document your track record
Teach publicly. Teaching signals mastery
Practice reps like Jay’s weekly newsletter (routine = visible growth)
(Supported by Stephen M.R, Covey, The Speed of Trust, Amy Edmondson, The Fearless Organization, Harvard Negotiation Project)
2. Reliability “I believe you’ll show up every time.”
Your brain is risk-averse. People don’t trust what’s unpredictable.
Reliability is the most practical form of trust. This is the difference between “maybe” and “definitely.”
“Every interaction somebody has with me reinforces, deepens, or degrades trust.”
How to build it:
Set fewer promises
Keep every promise
Be early
Recap agreements clearly
Create rituals (newsletters, weekly updates, predictable cadences)
(Supported by B.J. Fogg, Stanford Persuasion Lab, Robert Cialdini, the Consistency Principle, Gottman Institute, trust = “reliable turning toward)
3. Empathy “I believe you consider my perspective.”
Empathy tells people you’re not going to exploit them. Their interests matter to you. If someone feels understood, they feel safe.
How to build it:
Mirror and label emotions
Ask clarifying questions
Reflect back what you heard before giving your input
Practice “perspective-getting,” not “perspective-taking”
(actual research term: ask, don’t assume)
(Supported by Brené Brown, vulnerability + empathy = trust, Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference - tactical empathy)
4. Integrity “I believe your actions align with your words.”
People trust what is congruent, not perfect. Integrity creates emotional safety because you become predictably aligned, even in hard moments.
How to build it:
Say the downside before the upside
Admit mistakes unprompted
Give credit generously
Be transparent about motives
Avoid overpromising
Model fairness publicly
(Supported by Paul Zak, The Trust Factor, Dan Ariely, research on honesty and social norms, Jonathan Haidt, moral congruence)
How can you apply this to your situation?
If you want to increase trust with your audience:
Competency: Teach consistently. Show your process. Share your reasoning.
Reliability: Post consistently. Keep your publishing promises.
Empathy: Address their problems, not your agenda.
Integrity: Recommend only what you truly stand behind. Disclose incentives clearly.
If you want to increase trust with your team:
Competency: Know your domain. Share context, not just tasks.
Reliability: Be the person whose deadlines don’t slip.
Empathy: Understand workloads and pressures.
Integrity: Don’t say one thing in meetings and another one-on-one.
If you want to increase trust with your boss:
Competency: Show that you solve problems independently.
Reliability: Respond proactively. Follow through.
Empathy: Understand their goals and pressures.
Integrity: Tell the truth about timelines and risks.
If you want to increase trust with prospects or clients:
Competency: Demonstrate expertise before asking for anything.
Reliability: Follow up consistently (not aggressively).
Empathy: Tailor solutions to their context.
Integrity: Be willing to say “not a fit.”
Remember: optimize for oversized trust building, not speed of execution.
To apply my own teaching right now, here is my full process of getting today’s issue out the door:
4.5 hours to prep for Jay Clouse’s interview (reading, listening, watching his interviews, articles, social posts etc.)
2.5 hours to follow-up to schedule him, write the interview guide, write the story arc
1.5 hours to get ready and perform the interview
2 hours to review transcript, pull out insights and checkout other references
3 hours to actually draft, write and rewrite (putting the finishing touches the day after Thanksgiving morning! It’s September 28, 6.27 am right now)
(Full disclosure: I do use AI to help me research and get my vision out onto the screen, but the truth is it spits things out that are never a perfect fit to how I want to tell the story. So it helps me with the mind-numbing work of doing research, but I still get to shape the exact flow and ideas of the newsletter. And the book links are Amazon affiliate links so I get a few pennies every time you buy a book! 🙏🏽)
Do you know of someone who is ambitious and would love this newsletter? Do them a favor and forward it along!
If you like this issue about trust, you’ll love:
10 Phrases That Kill Trust Instantly (What you say daily and what you should say instead)
Why We Follow the Crowd (The psychology behind popularity and how to use it wisely)
How You Can Turn Awkward Into Awesome (4 ways to transform your fear of awkwardness into your secret weapon for connection)
Change behavior, change lives 🤘🏽
Howie Chan
P.S. Do you know I have a founders special on how to nail your profitable niche without overthinking? Check it out here.
Creator of Influence Anyone
Don’t miss:
The Influence Anyone Podcast
In this episode, Jay Clouse explains why creators and professionals stall… not from lack of talent, but from quitting too early, choosing niches that are too small, or relying on attention instead of influence.
He breaks down the framework behind compelling ideas, the metrics that actually matter, and the counterintuitive outreach strategy that helped him land Seth Godin before he was “anyone.” A quick listen that will change how you build momentum.