The Spotlight Effect (Why It Can be Problem & How We Can Break Free)

Whenever I have to give a big presentation, I will typically have this type of dream the night before.

​I'm standing on stage.

All eyes are staring at me.

I've lost all my notes and I'm stunned.

I open my mouth and nothing comes out.

Gulp

​Chances are, you probably have some semblance of this nightmare. Feeling like you are in the spotlight and everything is going wrong.

Turns out, this is actually a reflection of a phenomenon where people tend to overestimate how much others notice aspects of one's appearance or behavior.

Introducing the Spotlight Effect

In 2000, a group of psychologists published a paper in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology about the Spotlight Effect.

Participants were asked to wear a highly embarrassing t-shirt (it was a Barry Manilow shirt) and they estimated that 50% of people in the room would notice their shirt.

In reality, only 25% of people did. That's double the actual number!

And when they wore a less embarrassing t-shirt (like a Bob Marley shirt), only 10% of people noticed!

So while we're out here worrying about what others are noticing about us, in reality, most of them aren't.

But there can be some negative consequences if we let the Spotlight Effect dictate what we do or not do.

BASE PRINCIPLE

We think everyone is noticing us, but most actually aren't

WHAT IF?

What if instead of being overly anxious about what others are thinking, you stepped fully into the experience? What if instead of caring what people thought, you focused on how you could help?

The Spotlight Effect could result in some negative consequences in our lives:

1/ You're thinking of others less

↳ If you keep asking friends whether there is something amiss about you, they may start to feel like you only think about yourself.

2/ You're perceived as self-centered

↳ When you're so busy checking on your own appearance and behavior, you miss out on caring for others.

3/ You start to put on an in-authentic mask

↳ Once you start second-guessing yourself constantly, you will inevitably morph into somebody you think others will like.

4/ You avoid things that actually make you happy

↳ Being over-worried about what others are thinking about you can be crippling. It could even lead you to avoid events you normally love.

5/ You seek to become a smaller version of yourself

↳ Thinking you are constantly in the spotlight can be exhausting, and you might start to dim yourself so you won't attract additional attention.

​As humans, we may never fully get rid of this psychological phenomenon, but how do we dim the spotlight?

​Here are four ways:

​1/ Self-awareness

Assess your emotions, behaviors, and feelings before you take action. Once your eyes are opened to the spotlight effect, take an honest inventory about what is real and what is perceived. Will people really care? The typical answer is "No".

2/ Be interested, not interesting

Pay attention to others. When you actually shine the spotlight on others, the real and perceived spotlight on you will be less. By asking more questions and being curious about others, it will ease your own tension, building confidence in the situation.

3/ Ask "so-what?"

What's the worst that could happen? Really? By asking yourself "So what?" after a negative thought, you start to define the concern in more pragmatic terms.

"So what if I stare blankly into the audience?"

"My three year-old daughter will still love me and life will move on. It will actually be a great story to tell later on."

4/ Get feedback

There is no better way to getting to the truth by confiding and asking a few trustworthy friends about what they think. The more information you get, the more accurate of a picture you will have.

​Seneca famously wrote:

As long as our eyes are wide open to this phenomenon, understand the true nature of what's going on, we can curb its grip on us.

These simple strategies can help you overcome the Spotlight Effect and get you out there, sharing your talents!

​Live your legend,

Howie Chan

Creator of Legend Letters

​Read my story​

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Sources:

1. Why Do We Feel Like We Stand Out More Than We Really Do?, The Decision Lab - LINK​

2. Miles, Madeline, How the Spotlight Effect Influences Your Experience of the World, BetterUp, March 10, 2023 - LINK​

3. Frazier, Rozalynn S., The Spotlight Effect Is the Reason You Feel Like Everyone Is Judging You, WonderMind, March 29, 2023 - LINK​

4. Gilovich, Thomas et al., The Spotlight Effect in Social Judgment: An Egocentric Bias in Estimates of the Salience of One's Own Actions and Appearance, APA, February 2000 - LINK