The Secret to Maximizing Our Potential

Patrick’s dad just had a heart attack and sent to UCLA medical center.

When Patrick arrived, he was appalled at how his dad was treated and he lost it. Berating the nurses and doctors, they ultimately called the police and they kicked him out.

On his way out, someone yelled out to him “If you had money, you’d have better health insurance, the government is paying for your dad!”.

Patrick sat in his Ford Focus and wept.

From that day on, his life would be forever changed, he vowed his father will never have to drive three hours each way on the 405 freeway to work at the 99 cent store.

His days of going to the clubs from Tuesdays to Sundays were over.

(Watch this short 3 min video of Patrick talking about this moment. WARNING: It’s really powerful.)

Today, Patrick Bet-David is a founder of many successful companies and have interviewed the best in the world such as NBA Hall of Famers Kobe Bryant and Magic Johnson, Author Robert Greene,  Billionaires Ray Dalio, Mark Cuban and Apple co-founder, Steve Wozniak along many others.

Needless to say, his father’s trip to the hospital was a defining moment.

According to Forbes, a defining moment is defined as: a point in your life when you're urged to make a pivotal decision, or when you experience something that fundamentally changes you. Not only do these moments define us, but they have a transformative effect on our perceptions and behaviors.

I believe that these moments are an outsized vote on who you are, why you exist. Your purpose. And when you define them in an empowering way, they become stories you can use to overcome hardship or draw inspiration from when you are putting in the “boring” reps to become great at something.

What is(are) defining moment(s) for you?

BASE PRINCIPLE

When our defining moments are defined, they become an endless well to draw from.

Reflecting and explicitly labeling those moments in which you were transformed becomes a constant reminder of who you are, allowing you to continuously draw inspiration and strength from.

WHAT IF?

What if you had a story that can fuel you through the hardest times? What if you were able to instantly become motivated? What if instead of apprehension and fear during tough times, you approached it with enthusiasm?

When I was laid off more than 2 years ago, it was a defining moment for me. At first I was embarrassed and felt totally lost, but then it became a life-changing event that made me realize I can never work for a corporation ever again.

How do you find your defining moments?

There are three types of moments according to Bernie Swain, the founder and chairman of the Washington Speakers Bureau. He interviewed 100 of the most prominent people that he represented as chairman. Folks such as Colin Powell, Madeleine Albright, and Terry Bradshaw.

PEOPLE

45 out of the 100 identified a person who had that enduring influence on their lives. Madeleine Albright talked about her father helping her to stay focused during hard times, just visualizing him working in a flooded basement with his feet up on bricks gave her the motivation to stand steadfast.

Who in your life made a life-changing impression on you? What mental image or quote from that person can remind you about your values?

EVENTS

40 of them pointed to a specific event, much like Patrick Bet-David’s story about his dad having a heart attack, as the turning point in their lives. For Tony Blair, the ex-Prime Minister of Britain recalled his father’s stroke as the event that evoked in Tony the discipline and diligence he needed to lead the country.

What event transformed your life? How did it change you positively?

ENVIRONMENTS

The last 15 considered a place, time or experience which had a powerful influence in their lives. For Condoleezza Rice, it was the love of reading and education her family had that shaped her life. Her great grandmother learned to read as a slave on an Alabama cotton plantation. Her grandfather spent an ungodly amount of money on nine leather-bound books ($90, a huge sum back in the day). Her dad had two masters degrees, her aunt a PhD.

How did the way or place you grew up influenced you? Why was that important to who you are today?

We all have life-changing experiences, but it’s only through reflection that we can gain wisdom.

By defining our defining moments, it helps us stand our ground and provide us with stories that we can draw upon for life.

So if you face a challenging moment, start to think of it as a potential defining moment and maybe it will help you see it as an opportunity rather than a chore. Use these steps to move forward:

1. Embrace adversity: View these moments as opportunities to learn and grow.

2. Acknowledge fear: Fear is a natural human response, when you expect and acknowledge it, you can better mitigate it’s paralyzing effects.

3. Quick recalibration: Take a honest assessment of where you are. Sometimes we require a why to move forward, but it might take time. Sit with our honest feelings and identify a next step.

4. Create an action plan: The only way to move forward is to move. So an action plan that involves action and reflection can help you gain knowledge without stagnation and rumination.

I’m so excited to hear YOUR defining moments. I would love it if you took 2 min to shoot me an email about what they are 🙏🏽.

See you next Sunday.

Live your legend 🤘🏽,

Howie Chan

Creator of Legend Letters

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Sources:

1. Levitt, Jayden, Unveiling the Hidden Threat: Patrick Bet-David on the ‘Reverse Market Crash’ No One’s Talking About, December 3, 2023 - LINK​

2. Patrick Bet-David’s Defining Moment, Valuetainment, 2019 - LINK​

3. Evans, Sidney, How to Define Your Defining Moments, Forbes, August 3, 2017 - LINK

4. ​Swain, Bernie, Successful Leaders Know What Made Them Who They Are, Harvard Business Review, September 5, 2016 - LINK

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