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The Trust Switch: 4 Moves That Get People to Open Up
Because influence doesn’t start with your message, it starts with their safety.
Howie Chan
July 27, 2025
Dear Legend,
Picture someone with charisma, presence, and influence, what kind of scene comes to mind?
Is it a person who speaks eloquently, makes people laugh, or commands from a stage?
I used to have that image in my mind.
Until I met Shed.
Who is Shed? That’s Stephen Shedletzky.
He is one of the original igniters behind Simon Sinek’s “Start With Why” movement. He still works closely with Simon today.
For over a decade, Shed has coached and advised leaders at some of the world’s top organizations, helping them create cultures where people feel heard, safe, and inspired. He’s worked side-by-side with teams at Microsoft, Four Seasons, Boeing, and the UN, and has delivered hundreds of keynotes and workshops around the globe.
If anyone knows what it really takes to influence people, lead teams and create environments where teams thrive, it’s him.
And after I sat down with Shed, I realized this:
HEARTSET ❤️: The best leaders aren’t loud, they quiet their voice so others can find theirs.
In a world where everyone is telling us to build brand, own the room, speak truth to power, what if being unforgettable isn’t about how loudly you speak?
What if it’s about how deeply others feel heard in your presence?
Leaders, this isn’t about being nice. It’s about being intentional. With your words, your presence, your silence.
This also brings me back to a conversation I had with Fotini Iconomopoulos, the negotiator, her biggest tip? Say less to get more. That’s how you get more information so you can make the right moves.
MINDSET🧠: Instead of “how can I get them to say yes?”, think “how can I make it safe for them to speak their truth?”
That’s the mindset shift that changes everything.
Because when you create an environment where people feel safe enough to say what they’re really thinking, you no longer have to sell them.
They sell themselves.
How do you do that? I’ve distilled the key levers from my conversation with Shed.
SKILLSET 🧰: Here are the four levers of quiet influence:
1. Build Psychological Safety, Not Just Communication Channels
“We speak up when we feel safe, and we shut down when we don’t.”
Skill: Your job isn’t just to talk. It’s to create an environment where others talk… honestly.
Action Steps:
Ask in every meeting: “What are we missing?”
Reward honesty over outcome: “I’m more impressed by the courage to share than the final result.”
Name the silence: “I noticed things got quiet. What’s on your mind?”
2. Deconstruct Power Dynamics to Unlock The Truth
“The higher up you go, the harder it is to get unfiltered feedback.”
Skill: Don’t assume people will tell you the truth. Assume they won’t, unless you actively make it safe to do so.
Action Steps:
Invite dissent first: “Whose gut says we shouldn’t do this?”
Share your own mistake: “Here’s what I got wrong last time…”
Get off the pedestal: Ask a junior team member to lead a session or critique your idea.
3. Facilitate, Don’t Perform (Especially in Community Spaces)
“If people feel like they belong, they will contribute. If they feel like they have to earn their place, they’ll stay silent.”
Skill: Leadership in community isn’t about being the center. It’s about curating voices, not controlling the mic.
Action Steps:
Step back and spotlight others: “This idea came from John! Brilliant thinking.”
Create rituals that normalize contribution: Weekly “first-time voice” features.
Ask, then disappear: “What helped you grow this month?” → Let them take it from there.
4. Model Vulnerability First
“People don’t need you to be perfect. They need you to be human.”
Skill: Stop waiting for trust to magically happen. Go first. Say the thing others are afraid to.
Action Steps:
Begin with a moment of truth: “I was nervous for this.” or “I doubted myself here.”
Don’t edit yourself to sound polished. Just be present.
When someone shares openly, say: “Thank you. That took courage.”
Legends, we’ve gotten it all wrong. The best leaders aren’t the loud ones, they’re the ones who have the courage to stay quiet.
That’s when you invite the people you lead to feel safe around you.
Because when they do, you won’t have to push your message.
They’ll carry it for you.
Want more?
Listen to my episode with Shed. We go through three scenarios (1 on 1, leader of a team, building a community) where he shares his take on how best to create a speak-up environment. Check it out on Apple, Spotify, or on the web. I also put together a PDF: “10 Hard-Earned Truths That Separate Real Leaders From Bosses” and posted it on LinkedIn.
I’m still looking for people who want to take action and create their one-liner for FREE.
Spots are filling up!
The Legendary One-Liner playbook is a 56-page interactive PDF that will lead you through a process to create a one-liner that wins hearts and opens wallets.
4.5P process to guide you through it
24 one-liner frameworks
8 copywriting hacks
6 AI-powered bots to fine-tune and craft your one-liner
If you’re interested in getting this playbook for FREE, click YAAAS! below.
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“I appreciated how Howie Chan turned the process of writing compelling, legendary one-liners into an engaging and focused session packed full of sharp content, leaving us with a simple framework for turning plain ole strategy into messaging that sticks”
Make your mark, live your legend 🤘🏽
I’ll see you on Wednesday (Influence Science will now come on Wednesdays! 👏🏽)
Howie Chan
Creator of Legend Letters
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